Entries Tagged 'humor' ↓

The NYT’s Bill Carter, supported by all the writers of late-night comedy, claims that there are no jokes about Barack Obama because … well, I’m not so sure what he claims—that there’s nothing funny about him.

Ann Althouse disagrees:

The best targets are the strong. Any decent political satirist should have an instinct to go after the most powerful individuals. I don’t believe Sweeney and Stewart for one minute. The real explanation for the lack of jokes is some combination of the desire for Obama to win and the fear of seeming racist.

The candidate himself has issued a list of permitted jokes. Andy Borowitz reports:

Saying he is “sympathetic to late night comedians’ struggle to find jokes to make about me,” Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill) today issued a list of official campaign-approved Barack Obama jokes.

The five jokes, which Sen. Obama said he is making available to all comedians free of charge, are as follows:

Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, “You know, we don’t get many kangaroos here.” Barack Obama replies, “At these prices, I’m not surprised. That’s why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil.”

A traveling salesman knocks on the door of a farmhouse, and much to his surprise, Barack Obama answers the door. The salesman says, “I was expecting the farmer’s daughter.” Barack Obama replies, “She’s not here. The farm was foreclosed on because of subprime loans that are making a mockery of the American Dream.”

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Why the long face?” Barack Obama replies, “His jockey just lost his health insurance, which should be the right of all Americans.”

Q: What’s black and white and red all over?
Barack Obama: The New Yorker magazine, which should be embarrassed after publishing such a tasteless and offensive cover, which I reject and denounce.

A Christian, a Jew and Barack Obama are in a rowboat in the middle of the ocean. Barack Obama says, “This joke isn’t going to work because there’s no Muslim in this boat.”

For a long time I operated under the assumption that if your super-infotaining message is daring, captivating, and sticky enough, it will get through.

That’s why it’s useful to see person-on-the-street interviews with the common schlub—oops!, I mean the typical American.

Every society has its status symbols. In HezbollahLand, anyone associated with martyrdom is in like Flynn:

The mother [whose son was killed in a 1988 Hezbollah operation] explained that she now has a special status among the people who now show her more respect. She is also looked after by the party and is frequently invited to visit religious sites in Syria or Iran. She repeatedly says that “a female Hezbollah official” frequently takes her by the hand when she attends a function and lets her sit-in the front row. She added, “Do not believe that the mother of a martyr is unhappy. She may cry sometimes but she is happy.” The father then turns to me and says, “Do not forget that we gain a lot of support. The Martyr’s Institution covers all our medical, housing, and school expenses.”

Bribery, corruption, intimidation, preying on the weak and needy, exploiting the religious beliefs of simple people, feeding on their anxieties and fears—that is how “charitable” organizations like Hezbollah operate: they’re mini-totalitarian societies. You give what you have—your sons’ lives—to the cause. In return, the party takes care of you and your entire clan for life.

 Direct from China to Egypt:

Digital Korans, automatic prayer reciters and headphones dispensing religious advice are all part of the growing wave of outward religiosity that is increasingly defining daily life in Egypt.

At least some people think it’s a sign of the growing religiosity in Egypt that people want to carry around these gadgets that supposedly keep them on the straight and narrow. Others are not so sure:

Sociologist Saad Eddin Ibrahim, on the other hand, thinks the trend is more indicative of the “naivety of the consumers and the intelligence of the merchants.”

“It also says a lot about how quickly the Chinese economy reacts and adapts to the desires of the consumers — whoever they are,” he said with a smile.

Well, I’m with Mr. Ibrahim, ’cause I have a soft spot for sociologists.

Also: there’s this old joke about new gadgets. Here’s the punchline:

Does it give blowjobs?

via Israellycool, the source of much amusement

And our new national comedy program is just beginning:

I have a dream that we are approaching the day when a ranch-owning millionaire Republican like George Bush will make peace with a vineyard-owning millionaire Democrat like Nancy Pelosi.

I have a dream that Pelosi, who was chauffeured to school as a child and who, with her investor husband, owns minority shares in the Auberge du Soleil resort hotel and the CordeValle Golf Club, will look over her famous strand of South Sea Tahitian pearls and forge bonds of understanding with the zillionaire corporate barons in the opposing party.

Furthermore, I dream of a great harmonic convergence among the obscenely rich — between Randian hedge fund managers on the right and helipad environmentalists on the left.

Read it if you’ve got TimesSelect.

and Fidel Castro doesn’t have cancer—in fact he’s on the road to recovery:

A leading Spanish surgeon who flew to Havana last week to examine Cuban leader Fidel Castro says he does not have cancer or need further surgery. …

Dr Garcia is an expert on intestinal ailments, particularly cancer.

Of Mr Castro, he said: “His physical activity is excellent, his intellectual activity intact, I’d say fantastic, he’s recovering from his previous operation.

“He asks every day to return to work, but doctors advise him not to, to take it easy.”

It has been 31 years since SNL’s Chevy Chase had occasion to ridicule NBC for it’s on-again off-again Franco death watch. I’ve seen no Fidel-is-still-alive satires. How come? Is Castro that much of a sacred cow?

Sacha Baron Cohen accepting an award on behalf of Borat at the British Comedy Awards:

Borat couldn’t be here tonight. He’s the guest of honor at the Holocaust denial conference in Tehran.

Which reminds me of this:

Need proof?

If you can stimulate her to laughter—I am talking about that real, out-loud, head-back, mouth-open-to-expose-the-full-horseshoe-of-lovely-teeth, involuntary, full, and deep-throated mirth; the kind that is accompanied by a shocked surprise and a slight (no, make that a loud) peal of delight—well, then, you have at least caused her to loosen up and to change her expression. I shall not elaborate further.

Predictably, the Sourpuss [I shall not elaborate further] Brigade is not  flattered by his thesis that women aren’t as funny as men.

Sweeties, you can relax. Something tells me he wouldn’t bother with you anyway.

It’s been a long day. I find this amusing.