I want to thank the Hollywood Foreign Press. And I just want to say that this movie was a life-changing experience. I saw some amazing, beautiful, invigorating parts of America. But I saw some dark parts of America, an ugly side of America. A side of America that rarely sees the light of day.

I refer, of course, to the anus and testicles of my co-star, Ken Davitian. (Aud laughs as the camera finds Davitian shrugging and raising a wine glass to Cohen.) Ken, when I was in that scene and I stared down and saw your two wrinkled golden globes on my chin, I thought to myself, ‘I better win a bloody award for this.’

And then when my 300-pound co-star decided to sit on my face and squeeze the oxygen from my lungs, I was faced with a choice: Death or to breathe in the air that had been trapped in a small pocket between his buttocks for 30 years.

Kenneth, if it was not for that rancid bubble, I would not be here today.

(Music starts as Cohen holds up Globe gesturing to Davitian. He starts rushing through the rest.)

Thank you to Larry Charles, thank you to Jay Roach, thank you to Isla Fisher, my fiancee. Thank you to Peter Baynham, Anthony Hines and Dan Mazer; thank you to Ari Emanuel; Matt Labov; Erran Baron Cohen, my brother who did the music; and to Jason Alper and (unintelligible due to swelling music). And thank you to every American who has not sued me so far. Thank you.”

No. Thank you, Sacha Baron Cohen.

All parties are denying last night’s report in Ha’aretz that Syrian and Israeli negotiators have been working out a peace deal for the past two years:

Syria: No negotiations took place

 

Following Haaretz report on unofficial document of understandings reached between Israel and Syria, senior Foreign Ministry official in Damascus says, ‘Report is completely false.’ Former Prime Minister Sharon’s bureau chief Dov Weisglass tells Ynet report is baseless.

I hardly believe the report is ”baseless” and a complete “fabrication,” as some interviewed for the article claim. But this seems somewhat closer to the truth:

Dr. Alon Liel, who took part in the talks, said that “the headline might seem misleading.” According to him, the report hints that an agreement was formulated, while there were only contacts.

I liked this rumor for the simple reason that it lays out a lovely vision of what would be possible if only the parties could rise above.

Stay tuned.