who’s to blame for our imminent war against Iran?

{{reader advisory: please read “ScrappleFace Editor Responds to Real Editor” in its entirety—which I hereby nominate as the Best Blog Post of 2006—and memorize its contents before proceeding to read the post that follows}}

There are so many candidates that it’s hard to keep track. This checklist should come in handy after we nuke the Islamic Republic of Iran.
1) the neocons—a representative argument goes like this:

The neoconservative Bush administration will attack Iran with tactical nuclear weapons, because it is the only way the neocons believe they can rescue their goal of US (and Israeli) hegemony in the Middle East.

[Seymour] Hirsch believes that the US military’s opposition to the use of nuclear weapons against Iran has been overcome by the civilian neocon authorities in the Bush administration. Desperate to retrieve their drive toward hegemony from defeat in Iraq, the neocons are betting on the immense attraction to the American public of force plus success. It is possible that Bush will be blocked by Europe, Russia and China, but there is no visible American opposition to Bush legitimizing the use of nuclear weapons in behest of US hegemony.

It is astounding that such dangerous fanatics have control of the US government and have no organized opposition in American politics.)

2) Azar Nafisi—according to the Columbia University “scholar” Hamid Dabashi:

Fanon was right. Any attack on Iran by the United States must be blamed squarely on Azar Nafisi, author of that infamous pedophile’s handbook, Bonking Lolita In Tehran.

The author of BLT is a shameless mouthpiece for Washington’s imperial designs on the Middle East.

3) Israel and the Israel Lobby—according to Scott Ritter in a new book:

“The Bush administration, with the able help of the Israeli government and the pro-Israel Lobby, has succeeded,” Ritter writes, “in exploiting the ignorance of the American people about nuclear technology and nuclear weapons so as to engender enough fear that the American public has more or less been pre-programmed to accept the notion of the need to militarily confront a nuclear armed Iran.”

Later in the book, Ritter adds: “Let there be no doubt: If there is an American war with Iran, it is a war that was made in Israel and nowhere else.”

4) Zionists (commenters all over the leftosphere—too many to link)

5) Joe Klein—according to a Daily Kos diary

Joe Klein had recently stated on ABC’s This Week that using nukes against Iran must be kept “on the table”.

Now progressive blogger Mike Stark has made him take those words back on the Jim Bohannon radio show.

6) Bush and Cheney—according to Seymour Hersh:

The Europeans are rattled, however, by their growing perception that President Bush and Vice-President Dick Cheney believe a bombing campaign will be needed, and that their real goal is regime change.

7) ***

Of course this isn’t really about nuking Iran. It’s about Who’s In and Who’s Out?—it’s about jockeying for power and privilege in 2007 and, looking waaaay too far ahead, in January 2009. It’s about domestic power politics—inside the Beltway, inside boardrooms, inside the media elite, inside academia, inside literary salons, inside the punditocracy, inside the leftosphere, and inside polite society.

Still, it’s got the nasty Scent of Salem about it, dontcha think?

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*** I’ve run out of steam. I’m sure there are more. All suggestions (with links) welcome.