(updated)

Saddam, after he got plucked from his “spiderhole,” got ample opportunity to lecture the people of Iraq, the judge, the worldwide television audience, and his victims—those who survived him, that is.

His quick ending is not A-okay with Human Rights Watch, and I get that. But you gotta admit it’s somewhat better than the justice meted out by our very own all-American hero Judge Roy Bean. And to suggest, as the Nation does, that it was a “show trial” is a hideous stain on the memory of the tens upon tens of thousands who were brutalized by the Stalinist regimes of Eastern Europe starting in the late 1940s and ending only when the populations of those wretched nations were “pacified.” (update: Not to mention the innumerable “enemies” Stalin murdered inside the Soviet Union.)
What Saddam deserved was the fate of the Romanian tyrant and megalomaniac:

Nicolae Ceausescu and Elena Ceausescu after their execution at a military base in Tirgoviste on Dec. 25, 1989

What he got was a lot better than what he gave.

So it goes.

{{reader advisory: please read “ScrappleFace Editor Responds to Real Editor” in its entirety—which I hereby nominate as the Best Blog Post of 2006—and memorize its contents before proceeding to read the post that follows}}

There are so many candidates that it’s hard to keep track. This checklist should come in handy after we nuke the Islamic Republic of Iran.
1) the neocons—a representative argument goes like this:

The neoconservative Bush administration will attack Iran with tactical nuclear weapons, because it is the only way the neocons believe they can rescue their goal of US (and Israeli) hegemony in the Middle East.

[Seymour] Hirsch believes that the US military’s opposition to the use of nuclear weapons against Iran has been overcome by the civilian neocon authorities in the Bush administration. Desperate to retrieve their drive toward hegemony from defeat in Iraq, the neocons are betting on the immense attraction to the American public of force plus success. It is possible that Bush will be blocked by Europe, Russia and China, but there is no visible American opposition to Bush legitimizing the use of nuclear weapons in behest of US hegemony.

It is astounding that such dangerous fanatics have control of the US government and have no organized opposition in American politics.)

2) Azar Nafisi—according to the Columbia University “scholar” Hamid Dabashi:

Fanon was right. Any attack on Iran by the United States must be blamed squarely on Azar Nafisi, author of that infamous pedophile’s handbook, Bonking Lolita In Tehran.

The author of BLT is a shameless mouthpiece for Washington’s imperial designs on the Middle East.

3) Israel and the Israel Lobby—according to Scott Ritter in a new book:

“The Bush administration, with the able help of the Israeli government and the pro-Israel Lobby, has succeeded,” Ritter writes, “in exploiting the ignorance of the American people about nuclear technology and nuclear weapons so as to engender enough fear that the American public has more or less been pre-programmed to accept the notion of the need to militarily confront a nuclear armed Iran.”

Later in the book, Ritter adds: “Let there be no doubt: If there is an American war with Iran, it is a war that was made in Israel and nowhere else.”

4) Zionists (commenters all over the leftosphere—too many to link)

5) Joe Klein—according to a Daily Kos diary

Joe Klein had recently stated on ABC’s This Week that using nukes against Iran must be kept “on the table”.

Now progressive blogger Mike Stark has made him take those words back on the Jim Bohannon radio show.

6) Bush and Cheney—according to Seymour Hersh:

The Europeans are rattled, however, by their growing perception that President Bush and Vice-President Dick Cheney believe a bombing campaign will be needed, and that their real goal is regime change.

7) ***

Of course this isn’t really about nuking Iran. It’s about Who’s In and Who’s Out?—it’s about jockeying for power and privilege in 2007 and, looking waaaay too far ahead, in January 2009. It’s about domestic power politics—inside the Beltway, inside boardrooms, inside the media elite, inside academia, inside literary salons, inside the punditocracy, inside the leftosphere, and inside polite society.

Still, it’s got the nasty Scent of Salem about it, dontcha think?

———-

*** I’ve run out of steam. I’m sure there are more. All suggestions (with links) welcome.

It’s a toss-up between Sacha Baron Cohen, out of character, accepting an award for his movie Borat:

“Borat couldn’t be here. He was the guest of honor at the Tehran Holocaust denial conference.”

And Azar Nafisi, author of Reading Lolita in Tehran:

I can name a few amazing, as well as a number of disappointing, cultural events for 2006, but none can match my sense of outrage at the so-called Holocaust conference convened by the Iranian government. I felt outraged as a human being, because, like all the great human catastrophes, the Holocaust transcends its own time and place, concerning not just the Jews and those who tried to eliminate them but the rest of mankind, and when we deny it or remain silent about it, when we manipulate it for political purposes, we become complicit in the assault not only against the actual victims but against all that goes by the name humane.

As an Iranian, it was with a sense of tragic irony that I witnessed a regime that has denied Iranian citizens the right to freedom of expression and freedom of religion, and has systematically repressed, jailed, and tortured thousands of its own citizens for demanding their most basic rights, claim to provide freedom of expression for neo-Nazis and members of the Ku Klux Klan.

I had to remind myself that, while the ruling elite in Iran convenes such an event in the name of the country’s culture and religion, many Iranians boast of the fact that more than 2,500 years ago, a Persian king, Cyrus, after the conquest of Babylon, allowed the Jewish people to return to their land and permitted the practice of all cults and beliefs of the countries he had conquered. The ancient city of Hamadan is the site of the pre-Islamic temple of the water goddess Anahita, the Mausoleum of the vagabond poet Baba Taher, and the shrine of  Esther—believed to have been the wife of the Persian king, Xerxes—and her cousin Mordecai, who together rescued the Jewish people from extermination.

These sites represent the best of the Iranian culture and tradition, its diversity, its passion for poetry, its hospitality and generosity toward others. And yet, today when we talk about Iranian culture, none of this comes to mind.

Scandals are great for creating buzz!

Too bad Judith Regan spoiled a great potential bestseller by trying to do a two-hour TV special!

While Oprah was flaying James Frey on TV, people were flocking to the stores to buy his book!

Publishers don’t fact-check the books they publish—it’s too expensive!

There’s plagiarism and there’s literary license!

These are just some of the reality-based opinions floated in Josh Getlin’s roundup of the year in books, 2006.

Getlin also quotes a party-pooping representative of the literary establishment:

“A lot of this is pretty tawdry stuff,” said James Atlas, biographer of Saul Bellow and a longtime editor. “It was, in so many ways, a year of miscreancy in the American book business.”

Onward to more miscreancy in 2007—and better sales!