where in the world is the right baby for the Jolie-Pitts?

Angelina Jolie is the fakest of Hollywood narcissist fakers: a heat-seeking missile of celebrity, a fabrication of a human being. She’s smart and ambitious. She wanted more than anything to be a movie star, and became one (she’s a great actress), just like that. That was too easy and she got bored, so she decided she wanted to do something bigger—(like finish high school, go to college, go into one of the helping professions, perhaps? —ed.). She decided she would solve humanity’s problems by traipsing around looking lovely in all the godforsaken corners of the world. And people lap it up. Well…except for the Superficial:

Angelina Jolie went on Good Morning America yesterday and said she and Brad Pitt want more children and would likely adopt to balance their “mixed-race family.” She says:

“I want Mad (Maddox) to know that as our family grew and we all came together, we didn’t just start having children, biological children. Yes, we have Shiloh and it’s been a wonderful experience, but we want to find another brother or sister in the world for our family. I’m on the pill. You know, now the questions are more when you have a mixed-race family, do you balance the races so there’s another African person in the house for Z? So there’s another Asian person in the house for Mad? Shiloh has Brad and I she can look at. What’s best for the children as they grow? … We don’t just want to have different children from different countries. That’s not the point.”

Five years from now Angelina is gonna run out of races to adopt and start turning to leprechauns and Oompa-Loompas. They’re like Pokemon to her. Gotta catch ‘em all!