take your Original Sin and your hairshirt, and shove them

Now another hypocritical uber-Christian is begging for my forgiveness.

In a letter that was read to the congregation of New Life Church this morning, ousted Pastor Ted Haggard said he was guilty of sexual immorality, and he apologized for his acts and requested forgiveness.

“I am so sorry for the circumstances that have caused shame and embarrassment to all of you,” he stated. He said he had confused the situation by giving inconsistent remarks to reporters denying the scandal.

“The fact is I am guilty of sexual immorality, and I take responsibility for the entire problem. I am a deceiver and a liar. There’s a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I have been warring against it all my.

Dude, I’m not a Christian, so your piety is of zero interest to me. Not my moral code to go around in public begging forgiveness from perfect strangers. Dig?

If I were your wife, however… Well, there’s no way I’d be your wife.

Sexual immorality has nothing to do with it. You are a dirty stinking liar and a fraud: a cheater. You lied because you wanted it all: your piety, your position, your status, your wealth, and your secret sex life.

Feh.